Mrs Collins' Lover Read online

  The colour drained from Lady Catherine’s countenance. “Why would he say such a thing?”

  “He is the executor of Sir Lewis’s will. Would not he know?” Darcy asked.

  “I suppose.” Their aunt looked about the room, not meeting their gazes.

  “When I questioned him further, he showed me the will.” The Colonel glanced at Darcy then back to her ladyship. “Anne is aware of what it says.”

  Lady Catherine sat taller in her seat. “My daughter will never go against my wishes.” Though her posture was rigid, there was a hint of doubt in her voice.

  “That is Anne’s decision,” Darcy replied. “If you will excuse us, we must join our cousin.”

  The men left the room in time to see Kite jump to attention. He gave them a brief bow just before Lady Catherine bellowed his name. The butler winked then schooled his features and entered the parlour. Darcy and Fitz did not linger to hear their aunt’s complaints. They rushed upstairs to change into proper riding attire and met Anne at the appointed time.

  Their cousin sat in her phaeton, lap robes piled about her and a smile upon her lips. “Is the sky not beautiful to-day?” she asked.

  “Indeed.” Fitz took his horse’s reins and hoisted himself into the saddle.

  “I believe spring is nearly upon us,” Darcy replied as he followed suit.

  In no time the three were away from Rosings and nearing the first tenant farm. Fitz and Anne visited the family while Darcy spoke to the farmer and inspected the home. After making notes of possible improvements, he joined his cousins as the Colonel was handing Anne into the carriage. Anne took an active interest in his suggestions and they spoke of little else while they rode until they were at a quiet point between homes.

  Suddenly, Anne pulled the phaeton off the main road onto a flat, sunny space and reined in her horse. She turned and waited for the gentlemen to join her. “I do hate looking up at you both; will you not dismount so we can finish our discussion from this morning?”

  Darcy and Fitz did as she asked. They tied their horses to the back of the equipage and came to stand beside their cousin.

  “Fitzwilliam has told me of your situation, Darcy.”

  Though the three of them rarely kept secrets from each other, Darcy was surprised that Fitz would share what was not his to tell. He was about to reprimand the Colonel when Anne continued.

  “Though I must admit I had already thought it possible. Your distress when you first learned of Elizabeth’s presence and your horrid mood after visiting her were enough to make me suspect.”

  “Am I so transparent?”

  “Only to those who truly know you.” Anne reached out to him and he took her hand. “You and Elizabeth would have been a magnificent couple. Your weaknesses are her strengths. She is so loving and compassionate; she would have made an excellent Mistress of Pemberley.”

  Darcy’s chest tightened as he pulled his hand from hers. “But that can never be, not now.” Tears burned his eyes and he turned away.

  “She needs you, Darcy.”

  His head snapped back in her direction. “I beg your pardon?”

  “You are the only connection she has to her life in Hertfordshire, to who she really is.”

  “She is wed!” He could not comprehend what she was asking of him.

  “She is miserable!”

  Darcy shook his head. “How can I be of any assistance to her without losing my mind?”

  “Something happened in Hertfordshire, before she wed Mr. Collins. I am uncertain what it was, but Elizabeth often says, ‘if only’ and then stops. Have you any idea what it could be?”

  He could feel Fitz’s gaze upon him, and he allowed his chin to fall to his chest. “I believe so.”

  “Can it be undone?” Anne’s tone was pleading.

  Darcy looked at her. “You truly care for her.”

  “She is my friend. I wish to help her in any way I can.”

  “You said she goes every morning to the field?” Darcy asked hopefully.

  Anne nodded. “When weather permits. It was a difficult winter for her. We had much rain, especially in the mornings and overnight.”

  “I will see what I can do.” Darcy began to turn back to his horse when Anne stopped him.

  “This was found near the edge of the woods this morning. You will need it to-morrow.” She pulled his hat from under her lap robes as a teasing smile tugged at her lips.

  Darcy could not suppress his smile. “Will you keep it safe for me until we return to the house? I would hate to lose it again.”

  The cousins laughed as they set out once more. The remainder of their tour was completed quickly, though perhaps that was due to Darcy’s distraction. He suspected he would have to ride out again in the coming days as his thoughts were so full of making recompense to Elizabeth for his actions that he had not been as thorough as he normally would have been.

  *CHAPTER EIGHT*

  Light had barely touched the sky the next morning when Darcy began down the overgrown path. He could see where his headlong dash from the day before had broken branches and disturbed the vegetation. To-day he kept a more regulated stride, hoping to arrive before his quarry and to be more prepared for the encounter. His mind raced over what he would say and how he would draw information from her. This was not his forte. Fitz had been in his room late the previous night, rehearsing what might be said and the best way to respond. Even now, Darcy replayed the conversations, hoping his mind would not fail him when he was before her. As he approached the end of the path, he could see the sun peeking through the branches. He stepped into the meadow and instantly forgot everything outside his line of vision.

  The sun had just risen over the trees marking the far side of the meadow, and its light, breaking through a few thin clouds, spread out like fine silken threads touching everything in its path. The soft morning light caused the riotous colours of the wildflowers to bleed together making them look more like a painting than reality. But, standing in the middle of the field, was the most beautiful sight Darcy could ever imagine, putting all of nature to shame.

  Elizabeth’s hair was once again uncovered, and her tresses tumbled down her back. The sun highlighted the many shades of brown and the random red or gold which fed the sumptuousness of her locks. The shawl she had wrapped about herself to keep out the chill, now hung from her wrists as her arms were outspread; as though she tried to absorb the warmth and vibrancy of the sun to be stored for later when she would need it. Or perhaps it was refilling what had been taken from her the day before.

  Darcy was uncertain what to do. Should he step back inside the path and allow her this moment of privacy? Or, God forbid, speak and ruin the spell? As he stood, lost in the beauty of her, she began to turn in a circle. Her eyes slowly drifted open during her second rotation and she saw him. The look of horror which flashed across her face was quickly replaced by shame and the shawl was drawn up about her as she turned from him. In an instant he was at her side, his hands reaching out for her.

  “Please, do not stop.” His voice was hoarse with desire.

  She flinched away from his touch and he allowed his hands to fall useless to his sides.

  “I did not mean to interrupt,” he pressed. “I was captured by your beauty and could not turn away. Please, say you forgive me for trespassing upon you in such a vulnerable state.” If she asked it of him, he would fall at her feet and beg. He could not bear to think of how he must have disturbed her.

  Almost reluctantly, she turned to face him; though her eyes remained glued to the ground. “As I told you yesterday, Mr. Darcy, I never anticipate seeing anyone here this early.”

  “I must beg your forgiveness again … Madam. I am here at my cousin’s bidding. I had hoped to arrive before you, that I would not startle you.” He held his hat in his hands, uncertain how it came to be there, and twisted the brim in an attempt to relieve his nerves.

  “Your cousin?” She finally looked at him, her countenance filled with concern. “I
s Anne ill?”

  “No.” Darcy swallowed hard and straightened. “She felt I might … that is, her concern was for you and she thought … I must once more beg your forgiveness. As you probably remember from Hertfordshire, I lack the gift of elegant speech.”

  Her brow cocked upward, and he thought the corner of her mouth might have twitched in amusement. “Indeed? I had not noticed.”

  Darcy laughed heartily. “I had never thought you capable of a falsehood, Miss Bennet.”

  Her brow furrowed and all humour left her features. “I am no longer a Miss Bennet, Mr. Darcy.”

  He sobered quickly. “As I am painfully aware, but I find myself unable to speak your new appellation.”

  “As I find it difficult to hear it,” she murmured and turned away. “In what manner did Anne believe you could assist me?”

  “She felt as though there was unfinished business in Hertfordshire to which I might be able to lend a hand.” He looked to his hat once more, realizing Nelson would ring a peal over his head when he saw its condition. He lowered his voice as she turned to face him once more. “If I had had any idea of what was going to occur … I thought your father would protect you. I never dreamed he would allow …”

  “I do not understand you, Mr. Darcy.” Elizabeth’s voice was weary, and she drew the shawl tighter about her shoulders.

  Darcy fell to his knees before her. “Will you ever forgive me for not speaking out during our time in Hertfordshire? Had I only declared myself, you would now be my wife and not … I was a proud fool, believing your station and connections beneath me. I was frightened away by the behaviour of your mother and younger sisters, fearing they would bring society’s scorn upon me and my sister; that my relatives would not receive us. I had not realized that you had become a part of me, and I could not go on without you.”

  Her jaw fell open as she stumbled backward. She said nothing, just stared at him in shock and … disbelief? After a brief silence, Elizabeth stepped forward and held out a hand as though to help him rise. When he was once more on his feet, she slipped her hand about his arm and began walking.

  “I must return before anyone wakes,” she explained. “I admit I was blind to your attentions, sir, though there were some who had spoken of it. Indeed, I vehemently rejected the possibility of it.” She glanced upward at him then stared at the spot on his arm where her hand rested. “I would have refused you.”

  Once again, Darcy felt as though he had been physically struck by words which appeared so innocent. “Why?”

  “We never would have suited.” She laughed. “You were correct to fear censorship and embarrassment. You are destined for great things, sir, while I shall be the Mistress of Longbourn and try to protect those who cannot speak out against Mr. Collins’ foolishness.” Her head dropped and she wiped at her cheek.

  Darcy handed her his handkerchief. “If you were not anticipating my addresses, what do you regret?”

  “Your friend’s.” She wiped her eyes and began to hand the cloth back to him, but he shook his head. “The Bingley party left so suddenly, and then Miss Bingley sent Jane the most horrid letters insinuating that Mr. Bingley would soon be engaged to …” She stopped suddenly and bit her lip.

  “Who?”

  “I knew it could not have been true. Even Mr. Collins declared it a falsehood.”

  Slowly realization dawned upon him. “My sister.”

  “Yes, but I knew you would not have allowed Mr. Bingley to behave as he did if he was promised to Miss Darcy. I also remembered you saying she was young, about the age of my sister Lydia, I believe.”

  “Yes.” He could not find it in himself to say more.

  “I was certain that Miss Bingley was trying to separate her brother from my sister.” Her cheeks pinked. “I had thought you might have assisted her in the matter.”

  Darcy looked away and did not respond. “If Bingley and your sister had wed, you would not have been forced to …”

  “Oh no, I would still be here in Hunsford, but Jane would be happy.” Her voice fell to a whisper, “Happy enough for the both of us.”

  “Miss Bennet holds my friend in high esteem?” Darcy began to feel more and more of an ass.

  “She is quite brokenhearted by his desertion.” She dabbed her nose with the handkerchief. “Though she tries not to show it in her letters. Had she been allowed to come here, I would have seen her grief immediately.”

  “Why did she not come?” he asked.

  Her head fell once more. “I have not proven myself a submissive wife. I would be a poor example for her.”

  The need to hold her and tell her she was exactly what every young woman should be nearly overcame him. But she had already refused him once. Well, she would have. All words escaped him, and they walked on in silence until she stopped and turned to face him. Her hand remained upon his arm and she looked up at him curiously.

  “I must leave you here, Mr. Darcy. Will you be well?”

  He laughed. In all her distress, she now worried for his well-being. “Yes.”

  Elizabeth glanced around, then pulled down upon his arm as she raised up on her toes. She placed a feathery kiss upon his cheek, then ran off down the lane. Darcy could only stare after her. He stood in that posture for longer than it took her to disappear from sight. Surely, she was in her home and changing for the day before he finally turned and began his way back to Rosings.

  ***********

  Fitz stood at the edge of the woods, looking to the world like he was admiring a weed, when Darcy stepped off the path. On another day, he would have laughed at his cousin; instead, he batted his poor hat against his leg and continued past on his way to the house. The Colonel fell in step beside him, guiding him toward the kitchen entrance and the back stairs. When they were once more within Darcy’s rooms, he moved toward the brandy bottle.

  “No.” Darcy sat in the nearest chair and continued his assault on his headwear. The brim was beyond repair, so it could receive the remainder of his frustration.

  “You saw her?” Fitz asked as he sunk into the companion seat.

  Darcy nodded.

  “Were you able to learn anything?”

  “I am a larger fool than I ever knew.”

  His cousin shook his head. “How were you to know she needed you?”

  Darcy lifted his head and stared at the Colonel for a brief moment before laughing. Once begun, he could not stop until tears covered his cheeks and he was choking back sobs. Fitz appeared most uncomfortable and finally returned to the brandy bottle. He poured a finger for himself and brought a glass to Darcy who again waved it away.

  “Damn it, Darcy, what the hell happened?”

  “She never knew.”

  “Never knew what? Explain yourself.” The officer had arrived, demanding answers so a new course could be plotted. He paced in front of the fireplace.

  Darcy leaned back in his seat, watching his cousin. “I hid my affections so well she never knew I held her in esteem. And, to make matters worse, she would have refused me if I had applied for her hand.”

  This caused Fitz to return to his seat. “Is she mad? She would have chosen Collins over you?”

  “I do not believe it was a choice afforded her.” Darcy shook his head as his eyes roamed over the apartment, seeing none of it; only the look of sympathy which covered her countenance when last he saw her … and her kiss. His hand rose to touch his now wet cheek where he could still feel her lips.

  “Then what was her regret?” His cousin’s voice twisted the knife in his heart.

  “Miss Bennet’s affections for Bingley were greater than I believed. Elizabeth had depended upon her sister’s happiness to lighten her load.” He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and covered his face.

  Fitz let out a low whistle. Neither spoke while Darcy’s words hung in the air between them. Finally, the Colonel sat forward and lightly punched his cousin’s shoulder. “What is to be done now?”

  Still awash in his grief, Darcy star
ed at him. “I must return to the ledgers and see them completed so we might leave Saturday as planned.”

  “No!” Fitz glared at him. “With Bingley. What is to be done?”

  “I can do nothing from here.” Darcy shook his head. “I suppose I must return to London and confess my involvement and the error of my judgement.”

  “Write to him.”

  “How can I tell him what has occurred? And in a letter, no less?” Darcy began to worry for his cousin’s good sense.

  “Then don’t. Tell him that you have heard Miss Bennet is in London and suggest that his sister might know her direction.”

  The idea was appealing, but Darcy shook his head. “What if she no longer wants him? What if she is disgusted by his inconsistency? Should I raise his hopes just to see them dashed?”

  “You would simply be giving him the chance to learn her heart on his own. The very chance you previously took from him.” Fitz shook his head in disgust. “I do not doubt you initially thought you were advising him for his own sake, but you now know you were wrong. Is your pride so great you are unable to undo what you have done?”

  “Pride?” Darcy’s head snapped up. “My pride is gone. I fell on my knees at her feet, begging for her forgiveness, and she had no idea to what I referred.”

  “One act of humility does not dispel a prideful spirit.” Fitz drank his brandy and set the glass on the table. “A man’s pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.”

  Darcy laughed bitterly. “I am surprised, Cousin, I thought you would have quoted Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”

  The Colonel shook his head and sighed. “No, then you miss the promise.” He stood, laid a hand on Darcy’s shoulder, and looked him in the eye. “Honour upholds the humble.” After patting his shoulder, Fitz turned and left the room, leaving Darcy to think over his actions.

  The dressing room door opened, and Nelson entered. “Mr. Darcy? Your aunt will be expecting you for breakfast shortly.”